When I was born, the doctor's told my parents, You have a healthy baby girl. Little did everyone know that some years later would I begin to be not so healthy.
Operation Butterfly is about starting over, finding yourself, believing you have a purpose, being who you want to be, Operation Butterfly to me is a new beggining.
Three years ago I began to have Health issues. It was the beginning of track season and I began to notice that everyday at practice I was throwing up. For the first week, we thought I was just sick, after a week and it didnt go away we went to the doctor. Doctors thought it was acid refluxes so I took medicine. It continued, but we continued our daily routine and I continued to pratice and get sick. Sometime later, it was spring break, right before our very first track meet. We went to have dinner with my great-grandparents. I couldn't bring myself to eat and soon I was in tears sitting in a ball and couldn't move. Mom took me to the E.R. and within an hour I was in surgery having my appendix removed. How this wasn't caught before I will never know...
As time went by I got better. Soon the next track season rolled around. At this time I began having lower abdominal pain. It wasn't long and we discovered I had a 6cm cists on my ovary. This had to be surgically removed and once again, I couldn't participate in track. At this point we are thinking things have to get better nothing else can happen.
The following fall I began to have problems again. I would throw up for no reason, be incredibly tired, be in horrible pain, and there was no answer. I spent numerous times in the hospital and my families lives became more and more apart. After time went by a doctor finally tested my gall bladder only to find out it did not function. So again I had surgery. This had to be it there couldn't possibly be anyhting else that could be wrong, I was finally going to get my life back. By this time I had missed alot of school, I was becoming seperated from my friends and my school. I felt like everything was falling apart. But this was the end I was going to be better and there was nothing else to it.
Until time went by and I became even more sick. I was puking, tired, in pain, coulnd't move, began having different signs show up, and soon began to loose feeling in my legs. At this time I had missed most of my freshman and sophmores years in high school. I was tired, I was weak and I wanted it to be over. There were times I thought nothing else worse could happen, there isn't possibly on more wrong thing that could go on. I questioned why was here? Why was God doing this to me? Why couldn't it be someone else? This isn't fair.
One morning I woke up and felt wierd, but I went on with my day and went to school. That night I was in horrible in pain and didn't know what was happening. The next morning I woke up with little feeling in my legs and decided to stay home from school. My mom went ahead and went on to work though. I remember crawling everywhere I went because I was scared I would fall, only becuase the nght before I had fallen in the tub. I was taken to the doctor later this afternoon , where he then hospitalized me. They ran tests and couldn't find anything wrong, but this didn't surprise me or anyone else I had a problem that no one could figure out. I woke up the next mornig and had no feeling, I coulnd't feel people touching me and becuase of the medicine I was on I couldn't remeber what was going on or anyhting around me. I do remeber when they were going to transfer me to minnesota to Mayo Clinic. All my family came to visit me along with my friends. I didn't want to get out of bed becuase I had to drag myself along with a walker, which was hard. I ended up having to get out of bed and at that moment I think it hit people how bad it was. It was so hard for my family and friends to watch me struggle. I knew when my mom first saw how bad it was the day I had lost all feeling she watched me struggle and cried. This was a very hard time for everyone, and I really had no idea what was going on except that I was in pain. Looking back at pictures you can tell I wasn't good. I didn't end up being transfered at this time though. As a few days passed I worked hard in therapy and was finally able to feel my legs again. I finally got to go home, which was amazing because a few days before I was scared I'd never be able to walk again.
A few weeks later a lady called us from the Mayo Clinic and wanted to know if we would be interested in a pain rehabilitation program. At this time, my mom was so mad, she said No, my daughter has a problem and I need an answer. After she cooled off and things weren't getting better she called the lady back apologized and told them we would be there. Little did I know this was going to be the hardest, yet most life changing experience of my life.
We left for a three week stay in minnesota in early March. I went in open minded, yet I thought this was the dumbest thing I had heard of. The first week I was there I lost feeling in my legs. These people had no sympathy though. There job was to help me, but I felt like they weren't helping me. I couldn't feel my legs and my nurse was making me walk. I was crying and I didn't think I could do it. They also took all my pain medicine away. I didn't think it was going to be possible to make it through this. I did though. Alot of encouragement pulled me through. I met some of the most amazing people here. Kids who were having problems, similar to mine. This is what made me believe. Not a doctor, not a nurse, but the kids. Only a few days later was I back on my feet and doing great, I used the things they were teaching me and they worked. I can't quite explain to you how deep breathing, visualzation and things like that work but they do. This was an experience of a lifetime, but it worked. I didn't do it alone though, I did it with the help of new friends, my nurse, curtis, my parents, my friends from home, everyone, everyone pushed and told me keep your head up!
After I came home I was scared. I was terrified things would go back to the way they were before.I had spent most of the last three years in hospitals, being poked with needles, in doctors offices, and being sick, that was my life was being sick. I was scared this was all my life would be ablout, how would I get a new life? I didn't want this but how could I change it? I did with time, support, alota prayer, and believing. My family and friends kept pushing me.
I hadn't exactly been to school regulary though, and I was feeling as if i had lost my friends, I hadn't been there for everything and I missed alot of stuff. Its so hard to explain to people whats happening. They get scared and don't know what to do and soon you become distant.
I am back in school full time though and havn't been to the doctor in quite a while. Some days are rough, but that's when you tell yourself, you aren't alone you can do this. I am fully involved again and am so happy. I do have a purpose, there was a reason I went through what i did, It made me who I am today. Sometimes God has a plan that we disagree with or don't understand, but eventually there comes a point when you begin to understand.
Operation Butterfly is helping me start my new life. My healthy life. The life I want. It's a fresh start, it's hard, but you gotta believe. You have to be strong, when no one else thinks you can. And be a friend, if you think someone is having a rough time, lend your shoulder. We all have hard times, but we can make it through. Don't give up. I have my bad days, but I have the people around me who pull me through. This hasn't just affected me but my family, my friends, my teachers, everyone. Early I told you i began to quesiton God but through all of this the only thing I can say is it has brought me so much closer to him. It's amazing what can happen and what can change. So when things seem to be going horrible, remeber to spread your wings and fly, you have a new beginning.